Living With Both Sides Of Me
I was thinking about how many artists, philosophers, and inventors had mental illness. Edvard Munch, Vincent Van Gogh, Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Isaac Newton. Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Pablo Picasso, Ozzy Osborne to name a few.
The hardest part of being medicated for bipolar disease is the lack of creativity. Off medication the creativity flows, when medicated properly it's an adjustment. One needs to remember that the artist is still within, moreover, it's a bit masked. Recently when I was out of medication after being on meds for years, I felt like "I'm back"! I was back for sure staying up day in and day out writing, creating, not sleeping, yelling at family members, wiping counters non stop, happily living in my constant state of euphoric bliss. Now days after being on my medication it's been hard to find any motivation, I'm not emotionally terrorizing my family anymore, I'm sleeping, however, I'm not doing much of anything. I'm completing the daily necessities.
It's been tough, and yet after days of not using my mind to create I come out from
behind the shadow, center myself, and repeatedly tell myself the creativity is part of you. I just needed to dig deeper to find it. Another interesting part of work created while un medicated is that when I read my work I didn't even recognize it. I do not have any recollection of the day, time, or the mood. The writing is good, and was written fast without any thought. I guess the hard part is that now I have to think, and focus.
My creativity is still with me I just have to find different ways to spark ideas. I mean it's great to just be able to create without much thought, and yet it's not so great to lose sleep, have your brain going non stop, and most importantly yell at your loved ones.
There is a lot of debate about creativity and mental illness. It was romanticized in the late 18th century as madness and genius, nowadays many people many artist, and celebrities have shared their stories of living with Bipolar disorder. My hope is that they'll share information that will help others realize there is life within the disorder while on treatment.
https://sites.jamanetwork.com/art-and-images-in-psychiatry/index.html
http://bigthink.com/philip-r/is-there-a-link-between-creativity-and-mental-illness
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.theodysseyonline.com/25-famous-people-with-mental-illnesses.amp
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